Dancing with the Stars: A Lesson from Charles Barkley
I’m with Charles Barkley. The problem with his golf swing was never effort or desire. It was never talent. The raw potential was always there. Pro Hank Haney simply couldn’t give Charles what he needed, and as a result Barkley suffered through several embarrassing episodes of failed, made-for-television golf instruction. As Charles later explained to David Letterman, “I think that the problem – Hank. He walks around talking about he teaches Tiger Woods. Really? Really, you gonna rest your hat on that?” And then Charles drove home the point, “Anybody could help Tiger. I’m the problem here. I’m the one who needs help.”
Exactly. That is just the problem that I have with the producers of Dancing with the Stars. You taught Jennifer Grey how to waltz? You showed Kristi Yamaguchi how to twirl? Really? Really? You gonna rest your hat on that? Anybody could teach a dancer how to dance. Anybody could show an Olympic athlete how to move.
No, producers, I want what you’ve promised me. I want to be entertained. Show me what you can do with celebrities who have potential but no training. Bring me contestants with energy, enthusiasm, and desire. Make me laugh and make me cheer. Give me a reason to tune in, or maybe give me two.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus: Beautiful, funny, great legs, and great potential. At just over 5’2″ and with slender build, she is easily paired with any of the male professional dancers. A shoe size of 8.5 suggests that she’ll enjoy good balance and solid footing on stage. Available evidence does confirm that Ms. Dreyfus would benefit from dance instruction.
Taylor Hicks: The American Idol season 5 winner lights up the television screen with his smile and charm. Following a Broadway stint in GREASE, he already has the sparkly suit he’ll need on stage. He has the look, the energy, and the fanbase. He even has a few moves that he calls his own. Still, a choreographer wouldn’t hurt.
I’m hanging with Charles Barkley on this one, producers. No guts, no glory. Show me what you can really do. Set aside the dancers and the Olympians; let’s see what you make of untrained but willing feet, a good attitude, and a sense of humor. Entertain me.
And if all else fails, bring in Mr. Barkley. Not to dance of course – Charles would make a wonderful guest judge. This former Olympian already has the dancing down pat.
If you’d like to help cast the spring 2011 season of “Dancing with the Stars”, go here: http://abc.go.com/shows/dancing-with-the-stars/cast-season12