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Dancing with the Stars: A Lesson from Charles Barkley

I’m with Charles Barkley.  The problem with his golf swing was never effort or desire.  It was never talent.  The raw potential was always there.  Pro Hank Haney simply couldn’t give Charles what he needed, and as a result Barkley suffered through several embarrassing episodes of failed, made-for-television golf instruction.  As Charles later explained to David Letterman, “I think that the problem – Hank.  He walks around talking about he teaches Tiger Woods.  Really?  Really, you gonna rest your hat on that?”  And then Charles drove home the point, “Anybody could help Tiger.  I’m the problem here.  I’m the one who needs help.”

Exactly.  That is just the problem that I have with the producers of Dancing with the Stars.  You taught Jennifer Grey how to waltz?  You showed Kristi Yamaguchi how to twirl?  Really?  Really?  You gonna rest your hat on that?  Anybody could teach a dancer how to dance.  Anybody could show an Olympic athlete how to move.

No, producers, I want what you’ve promised me.  I want to be entertained.  Show me what you can do with celebrities who have potential but no training.  Bring me contestants with energy, enthusiasm, and desire.  Make me laugh and make me cheer.  Give me a reason to tune in, or maybe give me two.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus:  Beautiful, funny, great legs, and great potential.  At just over 5’2″ and with slender build, she is easily paired with any of the male professional dancers.  A shoe size of 8.5 suggests that she’ll enjoy good balance and solid footing on stage.  Available evidence does confirm that Ms. Dreyfus would benefit from dance instruction.

 

Taylor Hicks:  The American Idol season 5 winner lights up the television screen with his smile and charm.  Following a Broadway stint in GREASE, he already has the sparkly suit he’ll need on stage.  He has the look, the energy, and the fanbase.   He even has a few moves that he calls his own.  Still, a choreographer wouldn’t hurt.

I’m hanging with Charles Barkley on this one, producers.  No guts, no glory.  Show me what you can really do.  Set aside the dancers and the Olympians; let’s see what you make of untrained but willing feet, a good attitude, and a sense of humor.  Entertain me.

And if all else fails, bring in Mr. Barkley.  Not to dance of course – Charles would make a wonderful guest judge.  This former Olympian already has the dancing down pat.

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If you’d like to help cast the spring 2011 season of “Dancing with the Stars”, go here:  http://abc.go.com/shows/dancing-with-the-stars/cast-season12

12 Comments Post a comment
  1. Louise #

    OMG. This is hilarious but so true! These three need lessons in dancing and would be great to watch. If Taylor wants DWTS, then go for it!!
    Thanks for the laughs on this cold and wintry morning.

    January 18, 2011
  2. If you are an exhibitionist or in dire need of publicity , anything goes.

    One man’s treasure ( entertainment ) is another man’s junk ( viewing misery ). Wincing and chuckling at a person’s choreographic attempts does not make for comfortable viewing . (JMO) So what you want to see are “poor” dancers competing to see who can be the BEST OF THE WORST ????

    Just another perspective on the same scenario.

    January 18, 2011
    • Oh no,not at all! What I’d like to see are more celebrity contestants who’ve had no formal dance or related training/experience but who have the potential and desire to be good dancers. Example: Kelly Osbourne who went from shy and awkward to confident, skilled dancer by the end of that season’s show. The transformation was remarkable. For me, watching Jennifer Grey was not interesting or particularly entertaining. She was a wonderful dancer on day 1 of the show. No train wrecks, please, but give me the little engine that chugs along “I think I can, I think I can – I know I can.”

      January 18, 2011
  3. tishtx #

    LOL, cute blog. But if anyone trained those dancing moves out of Taylor Hicks, I would be crushed.

    Said with love, hee, hee. 🙂

    If Taylor wants to do this, I say go for it. He has a great work ethic, natural rhythm, is gorgeous and his personality pops off the screen.

    January 18, 2011
  4. Pat P #

    I’ve watched and voted on DWTS from the very first show. It seems to have changed over the seasons in that they seem to have an agenda now which is to push certain contestants that are part of the ABC umbrella. I don’t like the fact that one certain contestant (who is always a good dancer) seems to be the chosen contestant. Also, recently it was discussed on a Wendy Williams’ show that only people who want to revive their careers do the show.

    That said, if this is what Taylor wants then so be it and I will vote with the best of them and I have a few tricks up my sleeve as to how to get more votes…but that is for a latter discussion :)) Good luck T…

    January 18, 2011
    • Well, it’s certainly true that the exposure offered on a popular show like DWTS can lead to additional opportunities, both for the celebrities and the dancing pros, and that’s a good thing.

      I didn’t realize that ABC connected celebrities were favored contestants. I guess I can understand why that would be true. I suspect ABC is even more interested, though, in viewership and tries to bring in celebrities with current “buzz” to boost audience interest.

      Interesting! Thanks for your comments!

      January 18, 2011
  5. Barbie-flausa #

    If its what Taylor wants…then by all means go for it TRH. IF he and JLD would be fun to watch…and Taylor IS part of the family since Mr. M Mouse owns DWTS and AI.

    January 18, 2011
  6. NolaMar #

    I have not really watched the show except for bits & pieces here & there, and then the finale last year. You make a good point – It does not seem fair to allow celebs with dance training/experience to compete with total novices. I’m not sure how I feel about Taylor being on the show since I’ve never really gotten into it, but if that’s what he wants to do I hope he makes it on and I’ll be there cheering for him all the way.

    January 18, 2011
  7. NolaMar #

    Meant to say the vids are great! LOL 🙂

    January 18, 2011
  8. hicksfan7 #

    Enjoyed reading this one – gave me a few laughs too.
    I hope Taylor DOES go on DWTS, because – as he has stated – he LOVES to dance!
    Thanks for the vids too – loved those.

    January 19, 2011
  9. Ange Bleu #

    I’ve said it before & I’ll say it again. The only way DWTS will benefit T is if he dances good enough to be in the top four, and that ain’t going to happen. Even with Carrie Anne Inuba as his teacher/choreographer on Idol he did only a passable job.

    He’ll end up doing what he wants to do & I wish him the best of luck – even if he falls flat on his face.

    January 19, 2011
    • Well, Ange Bleu, now you’ve done it. Now you’ve gone and challenged the man. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take up the challenge. So, should he ever hoist the mirror ball trophy in the air, he owes you and that thank you note better be in the mail, pronto.

      Thanks for your comment!

      January 19, 2011

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